My Father....





My father  knew  his  time had come. He was asking me to visit him more often, once a week to have breakfast with him. He expressed his wish to see his grandkids, Andrew & Jody. Andrew often played chinese chess with him and often times he won. My father also played Scrabble with Jody and she would often draw or write something for him. My father liked to show off his little magic  tricks like making a twenty cent coin disappear and enjoys watching his grand kids in all their playful and mischievioius antics.

He also seemed to be more obliged when asked to take photos together as a family which in the past he will expressed his irritation when too much time is taken on the photo taking.  He updated his notes and diary more frequently, the last on 22nd June, 8 days before he passed away.

I still remember the last face to face conversation we had in the car before I dropped him home after celebrating Father's Day the previous day, "I will take care of myself, don't worry".  His usual phrase to all of us children. Always not wanting to burden us nor have us worry about him. An independent and self reliant man he was. 

On that day, we had planned to have a family gathering in a homestay in Bangsar. My sister and family from Singapore were on their way back.  My father was getting ready to leave for my house that morning, his watch on his wrist, hair neatly combed.  While enjoying his breakfast of a bowl of oat cereal with coffee, concentrating on his favourite chinese daily of Sin Chew Jit Poh, he went into the presence of God. Just like that. Without any fuss. He left just doing the things he normally enjoyed every morning, savouring his breakfast. We thank God he decided not to go to his usual kopitiam for breakfast. He may have just collapsed on the street without any loved ones around. 

At that time, I was waiting for a friend to view a condominium in PJ. My hands trembled after receiving a call from my eldest sister saying my father had collapsed. I remembered asking her "Do you think he's gone? " She said  "I think so" even though she was still trying very hard to resuscitate him.

I went ahead with the appointment as my friend had already arrived and the condominium owner was expecting us. In my heart, I knew my beloved  father was  gone. In that few minutes that followed, which seemed like eternity, I felt as though time had come to a standstill. Physically I was there during the appointment, but my mind was at lost as to what to think or feeI. A  series of thoughts went through my mind....... about the time when I last saw my father, the last words that were exchanged, the last meal we had together and the very last hug that were meant to be the final one. I wanted to tell my friend but just could not get myself to.  

In January last year my mother passed away. The loss of both parent within a short span of time was hard to bear. I felt as if a heavy stone had landed on my heart. The days that followed after my father's funeral was most diffcult. The realisation of not being able to see my mum and my dad or talk to them anymore had suddenly began to sunk in. I did not remember feeling this way when my mother passed away. Yes, I was sad but I  guess there was still my father's well being I had to take care of then. Having lost his wife of 57 years.

My father enjoyed the simple things in life. A simple bowl of curry mee, bak kut teh, a cup of freshly brewed coffee, the daily newspapers, watching the news on television, reading an article and highlighting interesting points or useful phrases. (He was a journalist and an editor). He did not ask nor expect anything in return. He gave thanks for every new day of life. Just 3 days before he passed away, my eldest sister took him for a meal at Nandos. He was still enjoying food in his last days.

Take care of your health. Make sure you have enough rest. Don't overwork. Always walk against traffic when on the street. Don't talk on the mobile phone while walking. Make sure your kids are always in sight when going out (meant we should always be walking behind them). Don't worry about me, I can handle it. I know what to do. I know when to rest when need to. These were some of the advice and phrases my father would say to all his four daugthers.

He was not a man of many words but yet he could give an excellent speech on any occasion, be it at a wedding dinner, an opening ceremony, a charity event or at a simple gathering at his Chung Ling Old Boys' Association. His friends respected him and regarded him as a big brother and mentor.

A simple man. No fuss, no inconveniece to anyone. Rarely both my elder sisters are in KL at the same time.  One stays in the US and the other in Singapore. Yet he chose to quietly wait, until all his loved ones were around before God took him home.

Today would be his 88th birthday. I thank God for his life. Will miss him very much.

Happy Birthday Pa !